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Haven't felt it for over a week. So I think the relapse has passed.
S.D.
S.D.
So...I am probably dissociative, but undiagnosed
I know, I've been away a while. I have been attempting to write off and on, but still struggle to have consistent motivation. Anyway, I've been in training for a DE job in auto insurance since September of last year. I really think I'm going to do well, but it's a lot and it's stressful. A few months ago, I developed a second self. Haven't dealt with that in a while. It doesn't feel entirely real, but then nothing ever really does for me. Still, others have spoken to this other me and have seen me when I become him, they say my responses are different and my eyes feel like the eyes of a stranger (my wife's words). I never lose time, I'm always aware but in a kind of trance state and I feel more like Sydney than I do myself. We are mutually aware of each other and are able to communicate both internally and externally with each other. He does come out at work sometimes, but only a close friend of mine at work knows about him. They like Sydney, almost as much as they like me, but they
Developed another self. Again.
So, at work the other day, I began to feel like two people again. The other self and I interacted and traded places a few times. Yesterday, the other self, Sydney, took primary control for most of the day. I was still aware of things as myself, but it was almost like a trance. I felt more like Sydney than myself. We interacted and were aware of each other's thoughts. He also told a friend of mine in the office about himself, against my wishes. I have begun looking up possible alternatives to DID which I might have. All the experts tell me I don't and have never had DID, but something is clearly going on mentally. I just don't know what.
long overdue update
Been temping at State Farm since December of last year, so my schedule is busier and my daughter is three so I've less time and motivation to write than I already did. As a submissive husband, I also do a lot of work around the apartment which keeps me fairly busy even after the little one goes down. I'm very anxious of late due to a possible financial situation that has popped up recently in relation to something that happened last summer which I'd rather not get into. Beyond that, I suck at keeping in touch with people long distance and my social difficulties make it difficult for me to acquire new friends. As a result, my social circle had dwindled considerably in recent years. I am finally starting to paint my nails again, did so last night for the first time in a while, and my wife assures me that State Farm will be okay with me having pretty nails at work. I'm going to give that a try. I still haven't really had the time, energy, or opportunity to do my makeup in a long time and
Got bored at work one day...
In all created things, essence precedes being. God, being the source of all created things, naturally creates the essence of a thing before giving it being. God is the ultimate source from which all created things flow, no created thing is made which does not have its source in Him. This includes essence and being. These things did not exist as we know them until He made them. God transcends all things, including creation, which He Himself made. Yet all that exists has its ultimate source in Him, including essence, being, and creation. Setting aside creation for later contemplation, God must be both pure Essence and pure Being, as both have their source in Him from the beginning. God is eternal and unchanging in His nature. Therefore the question of which came first, essence or being, is rendered meaningless in Him. Both must be co-eternal, as the members of the Trinity are co-eternal. Essence must precede being in all created things, but God is uncreated, no part of Him proceeded
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GOOD!