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Some of it you already know about. But now something else has just developed. Shannon's parents aren't doing so good, her step mom is in the hospital, she may have had a second stroke, and Shannon's dad is having some issues with his breathing. He's not got my grandma Tuttle's issue, but it is getting harder for him to walk long distances (like even a few hundred yards) without having to pause for breath. His van isn't very reliable and I have been asked to give him rides to and from the hospital so he can visit his wife.
Shannon wants me to do it, so far everything I'm hearing from God says I should do it; Shannon's really beginning to worry that her parents may not live long enough to see her get married in two years. Add to that that I still don't have a job and I still am trying to figure out how to apply for Grad School. I'm not even sure anymore if I want to apply for the standard MS program for Library Science or the K-12 one. I also need to select a plan today for my health insurance, which I have now, and start looking at what doctors I can see under said plan.
I have no inflow of cash, very little money in the bank, no prospects, pressure from all sides to get work or enroll in school again soon. On top of that one or more aspects of my DID have begun resurfacing again, very likely stress-related. Yet I think this is what God wants me to do right now. I spent some time in devotion/meditation earlier and, as already mentioned, everything I heard from God indicated to me that this new thing that's come up is what I should do right now. Some days I wish the gate was wider, but I also know that God has never been wrong. I feel a bit like this right now:
Pray for me.
Love,
Simyona Deanova
Shannon wants me to do it, so far everything I'm hearing from God says I should do it; Shannon's really beginning to worry that her parents may not live long enough to see her get married in two years. Add to that that I still don't have a job and I still am trying to figure out how to apply for Grad School. I'm not even sure anymore if I want to apply for the standard MS program for Library Science or the K-12 one. I also need to select a plan today for my health insurance, which I have now, and start looking at what doctors I can see under said plan.
I have no inflow of cash, very little money in the bank, no prospects, pressure from all sides to get work or enroll in school again soon. On top of that one or more aspects of my DID have begun resurfacing again, very likely stress-related. Yet I think this is what God wants me to do right now. I spent some time in devotion/meditation earlier and, as already mentioned, everything I heard from God indicated to me that this new thing that's come up is what I should do right now. Some days I wish the gate was wider, but I also know that God has never been wrong. I feel a bit like this right now:
Pray for me.
Love,
Simyona Deanova
Handcuffed behind the back close-up
If you love handcuffs behind the back, in arresting positions, and really good CLOSE-UPS, enjoy my shares. Handcuffs, ropes, even NO bondage; I only focus on women's hands shown behind "PALMS OPEN,"
and showing more femininity. None of this tied "PALMS TOGETHER. Prayer position" nonsense. where is the fun in that? 🤷
Thousands of divs to share
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So...I am probably dissociative, but undiagnosed
I know, I've been away a while. I have been attempting to write off and on, but still struggle to have consistent motivation. Anyway, I've been in training for a DE job in auto insurance since September of last year. I really think I'm going to do well, but it's a lot and it's stressful. A few months ago, I developed a second self. Haven't dealt with that in a while. It doesn't feel entirely real, but then nothing ever really does for me. Still, others have spoken to this other me and have seen me when I become him, they say my responses are different and my eyes feel like the eyes of a stranger (my wife's words). I never lose time, I'm always aware but in a kind of trance state and I feel more like Sydney than I do myself. We are mutually aware of each other and are able to communicate both internally and externally with each other. He does come out at work sometimes, but only a close friend of mine at work knows about him. They like Sydney, almost as much as they like me, but they
Developed another self. Again.
So, at work the other day, I began to feel like two people again. The other self and I interacted and traded places a few times. Yesterday, the other self, Sydney, took primary control for most of the day. I was still aware of things as myself, but it was almost like a trance. I felt more like Sydney than myself. We interacted and were aware of each other's thoughts. He also told a friend of mine in the office about himself, against my wishes. I have begun looking up possible alternatives to DID which I might have. All the experts tell me I don't and have never had DID, but something is clearly going on mentally. I just don't know what.
long overdue update
Been temping at State Farm since December of last year, so my schedule is busier and my daughter is three so I've less time and motivation to write than I already did. As a submissive husband, I also do a lot of work around the apartment which keeps me fairly busy even after the little one goes down. I'm very anxious of late due to a possible financial situation that has popped up recently in relation to something that happened last summer which I'd rather not get into. Beyond that, I suck at keeping in touch with people long distance and my social difficulties make it difficult for me to acquire new friends. As a result, my social circle had dwindled considerably in recent years. I am finally starting to paint my nails again, did so last night for the first time in a while, and my wife assures me that State Farm will be okay with me having pretty nails at work. I'm going to give that a try. I still haven't really had the time, energy, or opportunity to do my makeup in a long time and
Got bored at work one day...
In all created things, essence precedes being. God, being the source of all created things, naturally creates the essence of a thing before giving it being. God is the ultimate source from which all created things flow, no created thing is made which does not have its source in Him. This includes essence and being. These things did not exist as we know them until He made them. God transcends all things, including creation, which He Himself made. Yet all that exists has its ultimate source in Him, including essence, being, and creation. Setting aside creation for later contemplation, God must be both pure Essence and pure Being, as both have their source in Him from the beginning. God is eternal and unchanging in His nature. Therefore the question of which came first, essence or being, is rendered meaningless in Him. Both must be co-eternal, as the members of the Trinity are co-eternal. Essence must precede being in all created things, but God is uncreated, no part of Him proceeded
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