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About Deviant Member Simyona DeanovaUnited States Group :iconabetterworld: ABetterWorld
 
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The ashayam (haven't used that Vulcan endearment for a while) have already begun stressing over the wedding and it isn't until next October. Turns out we may have to buy a cake on top of everything else. My Aunt May would do it, but she isn't well these days and isn't expected to improve in time to make the cake. I guess she's pretty bad. Shannon's worried we won't be able to book The Vineyard (that's my church) for the date we have in mind, or that we won't be able to afford to have a nice reception, or that we won't be able to have a wedding party because she worries we won't be able to afford to pay for their attire. Honestly, affordability of things is a concern we both have, since we are unlikely to get financial help from her family. Truthfully, this next year or so is going to be pretty stressful for both of us, trying to get things figured out and worked out and then find the money to pay for it all. We both have vague worries that I won't find work and that she won't find work after she graduates. Then there's her need for an apartment, a driver's license, and a car to get her to and from the possibly more than hypothetical work.

She's been having nightmares about our wedding, about things going wrong and what not. I've had some pretty bad days myself. I reached out to my small group friends last night because...well... I still have too many thoughts about stabbing and cutting people. I never indulge those thoughts, but it bothers me that they're there at all. What bothers me more is that on some of my moodier days I find that a part of me wants to revive old thoughts I used to have about...well, I'm not sure I'm ready to share those thoughts in detail here. Just think Hannibal Lecter and Dracula. Like I say, I USED to have those thoughts. I haven't had them for some time now. Every now and then part of me wants to have them, but so far I've managed to resist the temptation. Apparently high stress still makes me crave insanity. I'm strong enough to resist, but also smart enough to know I need to talk to a counselor about those things. But then isn't that just more money that could go to the wedding instead? Isn't that more time that could be spent finding work and/or pursuing publication which could also help pay for the wedding? Shannon seems to think I should do it anyway, and she's probably right, but still...

On a happier note, I recently discovered that Sting, my old favourite, has returned to the pro wrestling world. That's a win. Yeah, I know wrestling is fake, I just don't care. I enjoy seeing how the scripting unfolds. Besides, Sting. And I also enjoy watching the ladies fight. Paige is my favourite "Diva."


Yours truly,

Simn (didn't see that one coming, did you?)
  • Mood: Anxious
  • Listening to: The Dollyrots: Big Mouth
I need to figure who to have in my wedding party, I have a few people in mind, just need to contact them about it...


S.D.
  • Mood: Anxious
  • Watching: William Lane Craig: Doctrine of The Last Things
Unfortunately, this Viking Blod [blood] is stronger than the mead I'm used to drinking, so it goes to my head really quick. I need to find a counselor soon to help me deal with my anger issues (totally unrelated to my recent mead consumption by the way) as I was angry for two days straight, ending with yesterday. Being around Shannon has a calming effect on me, but I need, as she pointed out, to be able to defuse my anger at times when I can't be around her. Wow, this mead is making it hard to think so that'll be all for now.

S.D.
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Reading: Batman No Man's Land vol. 3
  • Watching: The Return of the Pink Panther
I would like to wear a skirt to church. I've worn makeup to church before, just not lately, but I have never worn a skirt. That's my random fact of the day. That is all. Oh, and also I want to go to another ren fair wearing my Harley Quinn dress. Second random fact. I'm done now.

S.D.
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Reading: John Lennox: God's Undertaker
  • Watching: Red vs. Blue season 4
The ashayam (haven't used that Vulcan endearment for a while) have already begun stressing over the wedding and it isn't until next October. Turns out we may have to buy a cake on top of everything else. My Aunt May would do it, but she isn't well these days and isn't expected to improve in time to make the cake. I guess she's pretty bad. Shannon's worried we won't be able to book The Vineyard (that's my church) for the date we have in mind, or that we won't be able to afford to have a nice reception, or that we won't be able to have a wedding party because she worries we won't be able to afford to pay for their attire. Honestly, affordability of things is a concern we both have, since we are unlikely to get financial help from her family. Truthfully, this next year or so is going to be pretty stressful for both of us, trying to get things figured out and worked out and then find the money to pay for it all. We both have vague worries that I won't find work and that she won't find work after she graduates. Then there's her need for an apartment, a driver's license, and a car to get her to and from the possibly more than hypothetical work.

She's been having nightmares about our wedding, about things going wrong and what not. I've had some pretty bad days myself. I reached out to my small group friends last night because...well... I still have too many thoughts about stabbing and cutting people. I never indulge those thoughts, but it bothers me that they're there at all. What bothers me more is that on some of my moodier days I find that a part of me wants to revive old thoughts I used to have about...well, I'm not sure I'm ready to share those thoughts in detail here. Just think Hannibal Lecter and Dracula. Like I say, I USED to have those thoughts. I haven't had them for some time now. Every now and then part of me wants to have them, but so far I've managed to resist the temptation. Apparently high stress still makes me crave insanity. I'm strong enough to resist, but also smart enough to know I need to talk to a counselor about those things. But then isn't that just more money that could go to the wedding instead? Isn't that more time that could be spent finding work and/or pursuing publication which could also help pay for the wedding? Shannon seems to think I should do it anyway, and she's probably right, but still...

On a happier note, I recently discovered that Sting, my old favourite, has returned to the pro wrestling world. That's a win. Yeah, I know wrestling is fake, I just don't care. I enjoy seeing how the scripting unfolds. Besides, Sting. And I also enjoy watching the ladies fight. Paige is my favourite "Diva."


Yours truly,

Simn (didn't see that one coming, did you?)
  • Mood: Anxious
  • Listening to: The Dollyrots: Big Mouth

deviantID

daddyslittlejanegirl
Simyona Deanova
United States
I'm a pansexual, non-op transexual, Emo/Goth with high-functioning Autism. Religiously, I'm a Christian Mystic. In short, I'm complicated. Descriptions are actually pretty boring, like this one. So if you want elaboration, read my stuff and/or talk to me directly.

Current Residence: F.C., IL
Favourite genre of music: Could you be more specific?
MP3 player of choice: I don't now, nor will I ever own an MP3.
Shell of choice: What's THAT supposed to mean?!
Skin of choice: ?
Favourite cartoon character: Garfield the cat
Personal Quote: "Money cannot purchase honor." -Fremen saying
Interests

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:iconkajm:
Kajm Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014
thank you. Sorry for the delayed response. I've have connectivity issues since Thursday and am currently using a family member's computer. I'm hoping to have the issue resolved soon.
Reply
:icona-l-connor:
a-l-connor Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013
Sorry to randomly pop in without any prior introduction, but I happened to noticed that one of your favourite drawings here is one titled "Here Comes the Bride." As this picture includes me, so to speak, I couldn't help but contact you... 

Do you by any chance know "someone" (an internet troll, character in many different respects, in all kinds of stories, etc...he was a lot of things) by the name of Fredrick? He also went by Freddy, and would've likely taken the last name Macvarian. I'm looking for this person, but have yet to find any trace of them other than via this image. Hopefully you can help me...
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013
I don't think so, but it's probably been a while since I faved that drawing. And I mostly pay attention to the art itself when I fave things. I hope you find this person you're searching for though. Sounds pretty serious.
Reply
:icona-l-connor:
a-l-connor Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
it was for a long time. the person i'm looking for actually was the artist that drew that, but his/her (its confusing) account has since gone quiet for years. i've been trawling the internet looking for any account of theirs, but thus far this is the closest i have come. *sigh*
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
I'm sorry to hear that.
Reply
:iconmushu-xiii:
Mushu-XIII Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013   Photographer
I Am No Longer Dead! ;D
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013
Yayyy!!!!
Reply
:iconmushu-xiii:
Mushu-XIII Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013   Photographer
So How's DaddysGirl Been? :)
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013
Mostly frustrated, but with occasional happy spots.
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