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About Deviant Member Simyona DeanovaUnited States Group :iconabetterworld: ABetterWorld
 
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So I just got told a few minutes ago that my grandpa Cox has been declared stage 3. They still have to do a biopsy to determine what type it is, but either way they've elected not to do chemo this time, which I can understand given how weak the previous treatments the last few times made him. Shannon tells me I'm jumping the gun and shouldn't worry as much as I am, but I'm starting to be afraid he won't live to see me get married in a couple of years. I'd like him to live long enough to see and know my kids when I have them, too. Damn it, I'm just not ready to deal with this sort of thing right now. Especially not right after the good news of yesterday. It was all I could do not to cry at the restaurant earlier, but now I can't stop. Hopefully I'll feel better once it's out of my system. I always cry super easy, even over happy things; would've preferred to have something I could happy cry about today. Shannon's taking this better than I am; obviously she still thinks the news sucks, but she's also telling me not to assume the worst. I don't want my grandpa to die of cancer, I want him to die peacefully of old age ten or twenty years from now. Granted, I'd never be completely ready to let go, but I've seen too many people die from things like strokes and cancer in my life, hell my great grandpa Baker died of colon cancer 11 months after his wife died of bone cancer she hadn't told anyone about; and he spent the majority of that time senile from dementia. Just once I'd like to see someone go peacefully.

I'm not going to get mad at God or life over this, that would be stupid. Sometimes, this is just how things go. Either way, God is still sovereign and no matter what, I intend to make the most of whatever time my grandfather has left before he joins the Father. I just hate the situation and wish I could cry until it goes away. As it stands, I'll probably just cry the tears out of my system and adjust to the present situation. I will also pray, which I do all the time anyway.

Love,

Simyona Deanova.
  • Mood: Tearful
  • Listening to: I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus (The Dollyrots)
  • Reading: Dracula
And some slightly annoying news. But we'll start with the good. I now have a job for the month of December, not sure if I'll continue having it after December, as the employer is not currently prepared to hire me beyond the temporary capacity. Still, it will be a month's worth of recent work I can put on resumes and applications, plus I'll be getting paid for it, so that's something.

Also, I've had to switch back to google chrome from opera as my internet browser. I was starting to have some problems with opera, which were probably my fault. I still haven't quite mastered being able to discern when a random update notification I get on my computer is legitimate or a scam/virus. Every now and then I still manage to fall for an "update" that puts at least 3 or 4 other programs on my computer that I don't want and didn't ask for, each of which almost never have anything to do with the "update" that was suggested. And then my internet acts weird until I get rid of them. And then I have to run another virus scan to make sure I got them all. I don't know what happened this time, but at the end of it I couldn't access my journal on this site. So, I switched browsers and got rid of opera. Hoping I can avoid creating such problems for myself in the future. I'm a ditz.


S.D.
  • Mood: Bemused
  • Reading: Dracula
  • Watching: Kenan and Kel
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: violence/gore and strong language)
Nicole was sitting in the study, reading his favorite book when the doorbell rang. Frowning, he closed the book. He wasn’t expecting company this morning, not at this hour.
He rose from the chair, slipping into his long silk robe as he did so. “Not another one,” he grumbled, opening a drawer and retrieving a long knife with a moderately curved blade. He’d better go see who it was this time.
Feet padding silently on the lush carpet, Nicole called out, “Hold up a moment, I’m coming!”
He opened the door to reveal a man he’d never seen before armed with a silenced 9 mil. The gunman’s cocky smile faltered, his eyes registering surprise at the sight of Nicole in his night clothes. Yeah, Nicole got that reaction a lot. He was really very striking, especially this early in the morning, his long corn silk hair hanging to his waist and all.
“I don’t suppose a bribe would help?” Nicole offered prettily.
The gunman snapped back into focus, his smile back and cockier than before. “Ain’t about the money, fag.”
Nicole rolled his eyes. Honestly, the bigotry in this business was getting old. They never even used the right slurs. “Do we really have to do this so early in the day? Mornings are my only me time.” He tightened his grip on the knife, angling it to reflect the sun’s rays.
The ploy worked like a charm. Momentarily distracted, the gunman chuckled. “Boy, you are one dumb son of a bitch--”
Quicker than lightning, Nicole flashed knife blade up, slashing the man’s wrist, causing him to drop the gun. The man had enough time for a single, surprised squawk before the knife slashed across his throat. As the man sank to his knees, clutching his bleeding neck, Nicole made three quick jabs into the chest cavity, stabbing into his heart. The man died on his back, his face frozen in a twisted expression of unbelief. Yeah, that was pretty common, too. No one ever expected him to be as good as his reputation.
“I’m sorry, you were saying?” Nicole turned his attention to the blood currently drying on the front of his blue silk robe and night gown. “Damn it, I really liked this nightie. That’s another one ruined. Asshole!” He closed the door, turned toward the kitching, and began stripping his soiled nightclothes off. “You’d think they’d at least have the decency to come after noon,” he mumbled irritably.
A Killer Named Nicole
I thought this gem up earlier today while wearing my blue satin nightie and a long silver raincoat. At the moment it's just a stand alone. Do you think I should make it something more?
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So I just got told a few minutes ago that my grandpa Cox has been declared stage 3. They still have to do a biopsy to determine what type it is, but either way they've elected not to do chemo this time, which I can understand given how weak the previous treatments the last few times made him. Shannon tells me I'm jumping the gun and shouldn't worry as much as I am, but I'm starting to be afraid he won't live to see me get married in a couple of years. I'd like him to live long enough to see and know my kids when I have them, too. Damn it, I'm just not ready to deal with this sort of thing right now. Especially not right after the good news of yesterday. It was all I could do not to cry at the restaurant earlier, but now I can't stop. Hopefully I'll feel better once it's out of my system. I always cry super easy, even over happy things; would've preferred to have something I could happy cry about today. Shannon's taking this better than I am; obviously she still thinks the news sucks, but she's also telling me not to assume the worst. I don't want my grandpa to die of cancer, I want him to die peacefully of old age ten or twenty years from now. Granted, I'd never be completely ready to let go, but I've seen too many people die from things like strokes and cancer in my life, hell my great grandpa Baker died of colon cancer 11 months after his wife died of bone cancer she hadn't told anyone about; and he spent the majority of that time senile from dementia. Just once I'd like to see someone go peacefully.

I'm not going to get mad at God or life over this, that would be stupid. Sometimes, this is just how things go. Either way, God is still sovereign and no matter what, I intend to make the most of whatever time my grandfather has left before he joins the Father. I just hate the situation and wish I could cry until it goes away. As it stands, I'll probably just cry the tears out of my system and adjust to the present situation. I will also pray, which I do all the time anyway.

Love,

Simyona Deanova.
  • Mood: Tearful
  • Listening to: I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus (The Dollyrots)
  • Reading: Dracula

deviantID

daddyslittlejanegirl
Simyona Deanova
United States
I'm a pansexual, non-op transexual, Emo/Goth with high-functioning Autism. Religiously, I'm a Christian Mystic. In short, I'm complicated. Descriptions are actually pretty boring, like this one. So if you want elaboration, read my stuff and/or talk to me directly.

Current Residence: F.C., IL
Favourite genre of music: Could you be more specific?
MP3 player of choice: I don't now, nor will I ever own an MP3.
Shell of choice: What's THAT supposed to mean?!
Skin of choice: ?
Favourite cartoon character: Garfield the cat
Personal Quote: "Money cannot purchase honor." -Fremen saying
Interests

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:icona-l-connor:
a-l-connor Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013
Sorry to randomly pop in without any prior introduction, but I happened to noticed that one of your favourite drawings here is one titled "Here Comes the Bride." As this picture includes me, so to speak, I couldn't help but contact you... 

Do you by any chance know "someone" (an internet troll, character in many different respects, in all kinds of stories, etc...he was a lot of things) by the name of Fredrick? He also went by Freddy, and would've likely taken the last name Macvarian. I'm looking for this person, but have yet to find any trace of them other than via this image. Hopefully you can help me...
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:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013
I don't think so, but it's probably been a while since I faved that drawing. And I mostly pay attention to the art itself when I fave things. I hope you find this person you're searching for though. Sounds pretty serious.
Reply
:icona-l-connor:
a-l-connor Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
it was for a long time. the person i'm looking for actually was the artist that drew that, but his/her (its confusing) account has since gone quiet for years. i've been trawling the internet looking for any account of theirs, but thus far this is the closest i have come. *sigh*
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:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
I'm sorry to hear that.
Reply
:iconmushu-xiii:
Mushu-XIII Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013   Photographer
I Am No Longer Dead! ;D
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013
Yayyy!!!!
Reply
:iconmushu-xiii:
Mushu-XIII Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013   Photographer
So How's DaddysGirl Been? :)
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013
Mostly frustrated, but with occasional happy spots.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconkajm:
Kajm Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:icondaddyslittlejanegirl:
daddyslittlejanegirl Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013
thank you!
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